First Step To Self Development - Lesson 1: Getting To Know Your Self Honestly First

Do you like what you see when you look into the mirror?
I'm not necessarily talking about a physical mirror. More like your inner self mirror - the one that no one else really sees.

One of the more difficult first steps on the road towards self development is 'self improvement' which must begin with personal recognition. Getting to know yourself, acknowledging those aspects of your personality that you do not like or want to recognise. This can be very off putting for many people, and some never move any further on.

We all want to believe that we are perfect and that all our ideas and behaviours are right, but the truth is, neither of these beliefs are correct. The whole foundation of self development is built on the premise of the need to get to know yourself truely - those aspects of you that are great and those area(s) that could be improved.

Other questions that then begin to surface are:
What am I really like?
How do I behave in a given situation? Am I happy with this?
Do I want to make any improvements?
Do I need to make any improvements?
What am I good at doing?
What do I like to do?
What have I achieved? This one takes true honesty. Many people don't think they've achieved anything, but we all have. Think hard on this one.
What are my priorities?
What or who is stopping me from making improvement?
Can I do this on my own or do I need some help?
Yes, then, who, when, where and how?

These are only the basics, but profoundly important in this process and can be used frequently. However, these do not have to be worked through in a rush or all at the same time. Each one needs to be considered a step at a time - that's the best method of progress.

We would all like to believe we 'know it all', we don't need the help of others, but here again, if we are honest with ourselves, this is far from the truth.

I see self development and self improvement as embarking on a journey - this process should be seen as a journery. Some things will take a short time to change, whilst for others, we are looking at a life time's journey. I believe that anyone who gets to the point where they believe they can make no further personal improvement(they can not learn anything else) has missed the whole point. At each stage in our life we'll find there is something else that comes to your attention - if your being honest with yourself.

Personally I think and this has been proven many times during my life so far, that I've needed to change aspects of myself further in order to reach my own goals. You may be wondering what my goals are - have a look back at my profile, this may give you a clue. (I know, I'm begining to sound really old aren't I). Along with this, I've also found that I've needed help from others, more times than I'd really want to admit. Help may come from books; the TV; the internet; advise from a friend, family or parents or even my blog (I hope so!).

As tutor and training consultant I have to continue my own personal learning and development. It would be a bit hypocritical if I did not practise what I preached, as it were. I believe the true test of sucessfully completing any element of training, whether personal or work/skill related is whether or not it has a positive impact on you (the learner) - has it changed the way you think or behave? Can you see a way of using what you've learnt in your day to day? Have you actually used what you've learnt? Knowledge is dead if it is not used - understooding and application. This brings knowledge to life.

The greatest part of self recognition is the impact it can have on you. Recognising what you are good at; what you have achieved; what makes you happy? what makes you a good person or someone that other people like to spend time with,
Knowing these things will bring you greater self esteem and confidence. We are all good at something. Hopefully that something will be a good thing - mostly it is, I'm sure. If it isn't, maybe your next question might be why?

Simple things like making friends; making other people feel confortable in what ever environment you are in; helping others; giving love and care to our family and friends - this list could go on and on. Look at the smaller things first. The things we tend to take for granted or ignor, but are hugely important.

If you've thought about some of the things I've listed above, don't know where to start, I would recommend you start by writing a list broken down into the following groups:

1. Things you are proud of - this might include things you have achieved - try to list
as many as possible. For some, this may take you a period of days, because you may not be
used to thinking of yourself along these lines, but keep doing it until you've completed your
list. Remember it is your list.
2. Things about myself that you like, example - your hair, moustache, personality, etc.,
and
3. Things you are good at doing - making things for example

This may take you a period of days to complete. Listen to what other people say to you - write down their positive comments. If you have family and friends you trust to be honest, but not unkind, ask them to tell you what they like about you and what they think you are good at. This may help as we don't always know how highly others think of us. At note of caution here - use your initiative to judge what people are saying. We all really already know the truth deep inside. If your honest and true feeling is that a comment is unkind and untrue, then disregard it. We are looking for true and positivity here.

When you've complete these lists, look at your list at least once each day. In the morning before you set out to work or start your day is a good time, as this will help lift your self esteem and confidence and help you to start your day on a high.

Another recommendation is to take the list with you reach day. When you need to or maybe at lunch time or when you've been discouraged, have a look at your list. Be proud of your self, allow yourself to feel proud of what you have achieved and what you are capable of doing. These are your achievements - don't let anyone take them from you. One only person who can really do this is you by not recognising who you are and your own achievements.

Dog - A Girl's Best Friend

Not sure how many of you have a dog or even a cat, but as you may already know, I have a dog, who name is Chrissie. She is a Rough Collie. This is a picture of Chrissie and I together in the park.
I grew up with dogs and cats and always felt a little empty without one. I decided it was time to have another one. After some investigation into what type of dog would best suit our life style, we decided a Collie would be the best type. It would not be fair to have a dog that required more than we were able to give. I was then fortunate enough to see an advert for a Collie in a local newspaper and decided to have a look. We got Chrissie from a dog rescue place.

I took my daughter with me, which may not have been the best idea, as she wanted to have a puppy. When we came to where Chrissie was being held, Chrissie came over to where I was standing and literally leant herself against me. She made it clear that she had chosen - she wanted to go home with us.

When we moved away to look at other dogs, Chrissie began to bark and cry and continued to do so until we came back to her. Needless to say she won. We took her home and I've never regretted having her. She is wonderfully patient with the girls and would be terribly difficult to replace.

For me the most wonderful thing about Chrissie is that she has decided that I am hers. I don't think animals, especially Cats think they belong to us. I think for them its the other way round. However, back to Chrissie. She always seems to know when I'm tired, a little down hearted or in need of a walk. She never allows me to sit on my laurels. She'll push at me with her long, cold nose until I respond to her. She has a way of getting me out of myself and paying more attention to the world around me.

With Chrissie, I am encouraged to do something new each day. She will not allow me to sit on my own for too long. She will make me do something. It may just be reading a new book in the garden or writing down an idea that has popped up in my head. It may even be making a new card or painting a picture, taking some time out to go for a walk to clear my head or listening to the birds singing, throwing a ball or running to get some exercise. As long as I'm doing something, she's fine.

My little best friend Chrissie, is the one who stops me from (if I should ever be persuaded to do so) wallowing in self pity or even self centredness. Having others in your life, even an animal seems to help most people refocus themselves. It has been proven that just stroking animals can help people in hospitals to recover more quickly, become more calm and reduce their stress levels. This has even been a benefit for older people in their homes.

Having animals in our household has helped our children to learn about looking after others, being responsible for someone else, thinking about the fact that someone else needs to be fed, washed, brushed, played with and exercised. These are excellent lessons for younger people and will help them, I'm sure, in there future lives.

For our family sharing our lives with our dog Chrissie and cat Fluff is only part of the beginnings of the journey into personal development. I agree that having an animal is not right for everyone, but this works for us. Have you found something that works for you?

Books:

Book Title: 'imperfectly natural woman'
Author: Janey Lee Grace
Publishers: Crown House Publishing Limited

I recently purchased this book by Janey Lee Grace, British Radio and TV presenter. You may know of her in recent years, as co-host of the Steve Wright Show on BBC Radio 2 Monday to Friday 2 pm to 5 pm or her own early morning programme on Saturdays.

I've found it very interesting, albeit a little wordy at times, but if you know Janey Lee Grace, this does not detract from her communication style. The book provides some simple, comon sense measures to use if one has ever thought of changing from using some of the heavily processed or chemically created, commercially marketed goods, to using more natural sources for skin care, food, house cleaning and general health, etc.

I certainly recomment it. For me it was good to be reminded of the things that are most important in life - my health, peace of mind, happiness and family - in the an age where we can be distracted to focus on material and commercial things. Janey takes a realistic approach to this going 'natural' issue and helps to address our modern day condition.

I found it personally helpful for providing addresses and websites that I can use to purchase natural sources of foods, creams and health care products. Some of which I remember hearing about and even using as a child. My elders (grand-parents) used several of these items, for example coconut oil for skin and cooking; and lemon juice for cleaning. I have previously considered what I could do to get quality natural ingredients for some of the foods we eat, the substances I use for cleaning our home and the like. This book provides a wealth of information for this along with Janey's other very valuable thoughts and ideas. It is also encouraging to appreciate that one can be religious and naturally focused as well - without a song and dance.

And finially, I think this book would make a good reference tool - something to go back to frequently. I've put so many book marks in mine, that I could not possibly lend it to anyone.

Excellent reference book.