Do you like what you see when you look into the mirror?
I'm not necessarily talking about a physical mirror. More like your inner self mirror - the one that no one else really sees.
One of the more difficult first steps on the road towards self development is 'self improvement' which must begin with personal recognition. Getting to know yourself, acknowledging those aspects of your personality that you do not like or want to recognise. This can be very off putting for many people, and some never move any further on.
We all want to believe that we are perfect and that all our ideas and behaviours are right, but the truth is, neither of these beliefs are correct. The whole foundation of self development is built on the premise of the need to get to know yourself truely - those aspects of you that are great and those area(s) that could be improved.
Other questions that then begin to surface are:
What am I really like?
How do I behave in a given situation? Am I happy with this?
Do I want to make any improvements?
Do I need to make any improvements?
What am I good at doing?
What do I like to do?
What have I achieved?
This one takes true honesty. Many people don't think they've achieved anything, but we all have. Think hard on this one.What are my priorities?
What or who is stopping me from making improvement?
Can I do this on my own or do I need some help?
Yes, then, who, when, where and how?
These are only the basics, but profoundly important in this process and can be used frequently. However, these do not have to be worked through in a rush or all at the same time. Each one needs to be considered a step at a time - that's the best method of progress.
We would all like to believe we 'know it all', we don't need the help of others, but here again, if we are honest with ourselves, this is far from the truth.
I see self development and self improvement as embarking on a journey - this process should be seen as a journery. Some things will take a short time to change, whilst for others, we are looking at a life time's journey. I believe that anyone who gets to the point where they believe they can make no further personal improvement(they can not learn anything else) has missed the whole point. At each stage in our life we'll find there is something else that comes to your attention - if your being honest with yourself.
Personally I think and this has been proven many times during my life so far, that I've needed to change aspects of myself further in order to reach my own goals. You may be wondering what my goals are - have a look back at my profile, this may give you a clue. (I know, I'm begining to sound really old aren't I). Along with this, I've also found that I've needed help from others, more times than I'd really want to admit. Help may come from books; the TV; the internet; advise from a friend, family or parents or even my blog (I hope so!).
As tutor and training consultant I have to continue my own personal learning and development. It would be a bit hypocritical if I did not practise what I preached, as it were. I believe the true test of sucessfully completing any element of training, whether personal or work/skill related is whether or not it has a positive impact on you (the learner) - has it changed the way you think or behave? Can you see a way of using what you've learnt in your day to day? Have you actually used what you've learnt? Knowledge is dead if it is not used - understooding and application. This brings knowledge to life.
The greatest part of self recognition is the impact it can have on you. Recognising what you are good at; what you have achieved; what makes you happy? what makes you a good person or someone that other people like to spend time with,
Knowing these things will bring you greater self esteem and confidence. We are all good at something. Hopefully that something will be a good thing - mostly it is, I'm sure. If it isn't, maybe your next question might be why?
Simple things like making friends; making other people feel confortable in what ever environment you are in; helping others; giving love and care to our family and friends - this list could go on and on. Look at the smaller things first. The things we tend to take for granted or ignor, but are hugely important.
If you've thought about some of the things I've listed above, don't know where to start, I would recommend you start by writing a list broken down into the following groups:
1.
Things you are proud of - this might include things you have achieved - try to list
as many as possible. For some, this may take you a period of days, because you may not be
used to thinking of yourself along these lines, but keep doing it until you've completed your
list. Remember it is your list.
2.
Things about myself that you like, example - your hair, moustache, personality, etc.,
and
3.
Things you are good at doing - making things for example
This may take you a period of days to complete. Listen to what other people say to you - write down their positive comments. If you have family and friends you
trust to be honest, but not unkind, ask them to tell you what they like about you and what they think you are good at. This may help as we don't always know how highly others think of us. At note of caution here - use your initiative to judge what people are saying. We all really already know the truth deep inside. If your honest and true feeling is that a comment is unkind and untrue, then disregard it. We are looking for true and positivity here.
When you've complete these lists, look at your list at least once each day. In the morning before you set out to work or start your day is a good time, as this will help lift your self esteem and confidence and help you to start your day on a high.
Another recommendation is to take the list with you reach day. When you need to or maybe at lunch time or when you've been discouraged, have a look at your list. Be proud of your self, allow yourself to feel proud of what you have achieved and what you are capable of doing. These are your achievements - don't let anyone take them from you. One only person who can really do this is you by not recognising who you are and your own achievements.
who name is Chrissie. She is a Rough Collie. This is a picture of Chrissie and I together in the park.
